origin story pt. 2

this is the second instalment in a 3-part series about how sunflower knit got to where it is now. part 1 can be read here. the final instalment will be out next wedenesday.

during my undergrad, i was constantly involved with different grassroots activist groups. primarily spending my time on queer rights and gender politic projects, particularly around sexual health and gendered violence, i also devoted a lot of time to environmental initiatives and food security. i was vegetarian bordering on vegan (with a chunk of time spent fully vegan during which i got incredibly ill) before i headed off for university and continued this diet through my undergrad and most of my graduate degree, until i went to an osteopath for a different issue and was told that my anemia was too strong and i needed to start eating red meat again. by that point, i’d done so much research into food politics and security that i understood how nuanced food sustainability and its environmental impact could be (not to mention how much food politics are flavoured by racism, colonialism, and classism). i’d already stopped eating soy products after a breast cancer scare at the age of 21, and blood tests for other medications during my undergrad had confirmed that regardless of how well i was balancing my nutrient intake on a plant-based diet, my body was lacking critical components. eating red meat again shifted my health drastically, and my research into the food industry and particularly the local food movement would become the impetus for my fibreshed passion in later years.

the results of all that in a nutshell were that i ended up completely burnt out with traditional grassroots activism and was also only too aware of how social and environmental justice initiatives could rarely unpack their long intertwined systemic oppressions in a short soundbite or neatly contained web graphic. the more involved i got with textiles though, and in particular as i started sewing more of my wardrobe, the more i realized how textiles provided the perfect convergence of all the politics i cared most about - labour rights, gender and queerness, environmental sustainability, animal welfare, and decolonization. i could literally wear my politics on my sleeve, making an activist stance just by choosing my wardrobe. it felt like the most sustainable long-term project i’d encountered in a long time, which was particularly important because trauma and anxiety brain (which i continue to live with) had shifted my old neuro pathways, which used to be able to hone in and perfectly articulate a topic, into a series of train tracks that seemed to always be running in different directions.

this has resulted in my deep dislike of getting into heated conversations or debates about politics with strangers or casual acquaintances, because i’ve spent so many years digesting different sources of knowledge and embodying my research that to engage in a debate with people who do not have a similar level of understanding (not the same stance or reading the same sources, but a similar amount of time and energy devoted to similar topics) is basically impossible for me. there are too many train tracks going in too many directions to give citations about where specific facts have come from unless they were the last three or so sources i’ve encountered. from field to skin’s resource list has been a great tool for me in this regard, because i do love having complex conversations with people about the topics i’m so passionate about (especially if i don’t have to type them out within specific character limits on my phone via social media), and having an easy link to send people to if they wish to do their own research first feels like a great way to encourage that research without feeling overwhelmed by my anxiety brain.

you’ll see that shift in materials and embodied values reflected in both my design and dyeing practices. as i’ve established a solid voice in my design aesthetic (and mostly shifted away from the more theatrical of my styling efforts), the yarns i’ve chosen to work with have become less processed and more sustainable, with clearer supply chains from primary source to mill to dye source. this wasn’t always the case though, and in particular for my dyeing practice, was incredibly tricky until i made a point of identifying my sourcing options and began planting the seeds for the eventual creation of my side project, from field to skin. (more about from field to skin and its creation next week.)